The Snap
by Moonlight and Music
Summary: The whole crew is back. And before you sigh and go Not another fic where Emily and Anna take over! I'll tell you there's a new villian...someone you already know but would never guess...Mr. villian has some help from a new character...
1. So Jon is actually evil now?

Arthor's Note (Yes these annoying, but occasionally funny, things have returned!):

Jon: I'm bored

Kaida and Kat: Go away we're writing FMA ficcy!

Jon: Hmmm I haven't written anything in a while...

Emily and Anna: Great, do we get to take over again?

Jon: No...but I think I have a better idea...'laughs evilly'

Kat: Jon you really can't pull off the evil thing.

Kaida: Yeah please stop. Your just embarrasing yourself, more than usual.

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Jon sighed. Kat and Kaida were working on an FMA story and he was bored. Which was almost always a dangerous thing. Just as he was about to put another card in his 47 story card house Tonto flew in. The half-evil falcon landed on the house (Of course!) which quickly fluttered in all directions.

"Thanks alot!" Jon swatted at the bird in annoyance but then offered him a few M&M's which disappeared instantly. "Let's go see if those two are done writing yet..." He returned five minutes later with scorched pants and several bruises. "I get no respect!" he yelled. (M&M's to those who can guess reference.)

"Noooope... noooo respeeeecttt..." A whispy voice said. Jon looked around. "Offf coursssse...theeere isss a wayyyy to get it..." ( stefan doesn't talk that way) It had come from the creepy alley that hadn't been there before. Tonto chirped in alarm when Jon started stepping closer to the shadows that enshrouded the voice's owner.

"What are you talking about? Who are you? Don't talk like that!" yelled Jon.

The voice chuckled. then a deep male's voice sounded in the alley, 'I...am a friend.' He laughed after he said this. 'A friend, who has a way to get you all you want.' Jon had a skeptical look and said, "Hello? Dude, first rule of being in a magical world...Never take things from scary people in murky lighting, duh." With this Jon began to pull out his notebook for light, but before he could write anything, a gnarled hand reached out from the gloom and released a red glitter into the air. "Ohhh pretty spark..." Red smoke surrounded Jon, who stopped mid-sentence and went stark still. A thin rim of crimson formed around his blue-gray eyes. An evil cackle came from 'Jon', who walked out of the quickly fading alley-way. Seconds later, the scene vanished completely, leaving both Jon and Tonto with evil grins while his pencil wrote rapidly across a blank page (Can a falcon grin?...Well, I guess if it can eat M&M's...)

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"Awww man!" Kat groaned. "They did it again! How do Emily and Anna keep doing this?" Already, in the white Hall of Empty Melodies , were quite a few people. Looking around she and Kaida saw the most of the regulars, plus a few. While a year ago they all might have been surprised and panicked now they just talked and waited for Emily and Anna to appear and pull their 'evil sisters' bit. Which is why it was such a surprise when they tumbled out of a portal onto the floor in a way that the two most definatley would not have chosen.

"What's going on?" "What are you guys up to now?" "Have a nice trip?" were a few things shouted out.

"Don't ask us, we really didn't do this..." Emily said

"Yeah, I was busy polishing my Axel bobblehead collection so this had better be quick!" Anna spotted Axel and instantly attached herself to him.

"Ok...so if it wasn't evil little sisters...or me and Kat... who was it" A loud bang came from the balcony overlooking everyone and evil laughter reverberated (Kai: Congrats on the large vocab word Jon!! -le clap-) off the walls. When the dense black and red smoke cleared everyone started started laughing.

"Oh it's just Jon, no worries. Let's go back now." Kaida tried to teleport out but was shell-shocked when nothing happened.

"Ummm I think something wrong with him..."Riku said.

"More than usual?" Demyx asked (While trying to use a crowbar on Emily).

"Well...do his eyes usually glow red like that?

"Maybe their really cool contacts..." Zexion said.

"Arggh!! I don't have time for this!" Larxene screamed as she pulled out her bazooka. "I was planning on taking over the universe today!" With this she fired off a few rounds. The glowing shells flew towards Jon who calmly twirled a finger and sent them back at her.

"Ok now that I have had the pleasure off singeing shock-girl's hair it's time to get down to business."

"You mean your serious?" Kaida asked incredulously.

"If I could get to my villain monologue please?"

"Fine whatever, just make it quick." She rolled her eyes. Jon snapped his fingers and Kaida was suddenly doused by a bucket of very cold water.

"Ok! That's it!" She threw out both hands and flames erupted from her fingertips. She jumped into the air doing a triple flip and landed lightly on edge of the balcony. Kaida lunged at Jon. He nimbly dodged and stuck out his arm to clothesline her. She grabbed onto the arm and swung around to land in front front of him.

"Ah, been learning some new tricks I see." She laughed "You'll need more than that to beat me" Jon merely cocked an eyebrow

"We'll see." Kaida glared at him.

"Do you really want me to hurt you again?"

"Do you really think you can?" This was more than Kaida could take. She dealt a flurry of punches and kicks at him, all with a raging fire. Down below Riku and Sora (Never missing a chance to make some cash) were selling popcorn. Kat shook her head

"Now I'm gonna have to go find some bandages for Jon" Axel walked up behind her.

"I dunno. He looks like he's handling himself pretty well."

"Nobody's ever beaten Kaida though."

"There's a first time for everything...but then again...Kaida has 'someone else' helping her." Kat nodded.

"I wonder what's going on with him, Jon's really not the villain type."

"Who knows..." Back up on the balcony Kaida was still going strong, but was worried.(Kai: no I wasn't) Jon was matching her every move and she hadn't landed a hit yet. He didn't even seem to be trying.

"That all you got?" He asked.

"You wish!"

"Well, sorry but I have a schedule to keep to, we can finish this later." Jon waved a hand and Kaida was encased in a translucent shield that floated back downwards.

"Ahem. As I was going to say." Everyone was listening again. (hehe...my turn) A huge bang reverberated in the hall. Kaida jumped down from the balcony.  
'Thought you'd beat me, eh?' Hissed a very pissed Kaida, 'Wrong, indeed.' Her eyes glowed white and her body erupted into a black flame. Jon gaped. He'd never seen Kaida do this before. In fact, the only person who had seen something even remotely close was Zexion. He was used to it by now. But, at the moment, Zexion, Roxas, and Kat (so far, the only ones who knew about her 'halves') were standing with a horrified look on their faces.  
'This will not be good.' Kat muttered.  
'I agree.' the two boys concurred.  
Kaida stepped towards Jon, smirking. she crossed her arms 'p thgir ees I...' she cleared her throat. 'I see right past that phony disguise, dear brother.. But, why, of all people, choose Jon?' She laughed, 'Really, Stefan, this is the lowest you've gone.'  
Everyone stared at the levitating Kaida. 'What is she talking about?' Demyx whispered out of the corner of his mouth.  
'I dunno.' replied Roxas.

Zexion stared. 'Oh..damn.' Kat awkwardly turned and looked at him. It was awkward mainly because, Axel had his arm around her and Anna was attached to that same arm, sobbing. I think she was upset that he had chosen her sister over her. 'Zexion? What is it?'

'Do you notice that Kaida's voice changed.' 'Yeah, why?' 'And that when her demon half takes over thats the voice she has?'  
'O...this isn't good.'  
'Not at all. Do you think that the demon's taken over?'  
'I'm hoping not, but thats what it is starting to look like.'  
Jon's voice changed tones. 'But, oh, dear sister, why not?' He grinned, his eyes glowing, 'If it weren't for you, no one would have noticed.'  
'Really, now? Do you think that no one would notice if I went from gothic to preppy? Thats about as deranged as you taking over Jon. No one will notice if he's evil...no one will notice if he knows how to fight...seriously...what were you thinking?' Zexion walked up to Kaida and put his arm around her. She made a low growl in her throat. Zexion didn't move.  
'Who's that?' Stefan wondered. 'Another one? '  
'Another one?' Zexion mouthed to Kat. Kat shrugged.  
'No, _dear brother_. He isn't, and, he is dear to me. Besides. I don't kill the people I once said were my friends or family.'  
He chuckled evilly. 'Really? That's a start.'  
Kaida sighed...'Can you at least get out of Jon? (god...that sounds nasty...). It's easier to debate with you when you're actually in your own body.' She smirked at him.  
'Fine.' The red of Jon's eyes faded and Jon collapsed on the ground. A tall, pale guy emerged from nowhere. He looked sort of like Kaida. He had long shaggy black hair, reddish-gold eyes, full lips, high cheekbones, and insanely skinny, yet muscular. He was dressed in all black. He looked at Kaida. 'Hello, my dear sister, miss me?'  
'Not really.'  
Anna and Emily let go of the death hold they had on Axel and Demyx they stared, drooling at Stefan. The two boys looked at each other, sighed deeply, and smiled.  
Kat looked at Axel, 'Do you think we should take care of Jon?'  
'Nahh...He'll survive.'

"So what's this all about Stefan? Still mad about last time I kicked your butt?" Stefan gave her a cold look.

"Hardly. In fact this has very little to do with you." Kaida gave him a confused look.

"You see I discovered that there are two in this room with quite a large amount of previously untapped power at their disposal." Stefan looked at Kat and then over his shoulder at Jon.

"Of course neither one of these would have actually tried to use it for something truly useful. But with my help Jon will be able to..." He gave a deep resonant chuckle "...well let's just say reach a level of power he never dreamed of."

"So why bring all of us here then?" Kat asked.

"For one I had to keep an eye on you and my sister. Number two, I didn't want any of your friends to get the bright idea of a rescue. So it just seemed easier to bring you all into one place."

'But Jon?' Axel wondered.

'Well,' Stefan said, 'He wasn't exactly anywhere near as powerful as Kat or my sister at the moment. But I could always inhabit him...then thats when damage would happen.' He grinned, his eyes glowing. "You see Jon has, in a way, locked the majority of his power away. He could easily have been able to challenge either of you girls. Instead, he chose to simply hide it away, leaving only a small portion open to himself. Even that, he used stupidly. For ridiculous things like fanfictions and such." Stefan said in disgust. He raised his hands and began to hover back up to the balcony where Jon was still unconscious. "But now that I have control over his power." He gave an evil smile and started to disaparate back into Jon. "Let's just say I've opened him up to some new possibilities..."

Kaida tried to move to stop him, but she was too late. Jon stood up and lifted his notebook. Suddenly the notebook Kat had been scribbling in behind her back was yanked out of her hands and floated up, accompanied by Kaida's.

"So now if I may get back to my master plan speech?" A red force shield appeared around Jon and Tonto while he spoke.

'But, oh, dear brother, do you really think I need to use a notebook to beat you? I didn't have one before.'

'Yes, but, in the 40 years of your absence, I've been practicing.'

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Jon: Mwuhaha I'm evil!

Kaida: Your kidding me.

Jon: Hey it's always the quiet ones

Kat: But your not quiet.

Jon: Minor detail...oh by the way some people want to see you.

Kat: Who?

Jon: Hehe, remember Lance and Landon?

Kat: 'goes pale' NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Lance & Landon: Hey Kat miss us?

Kaida: Who are they?

Kat: Fanboys from an old story we wrote, I thought they were dead...

Jon: Nope. I found them locked in a prison cell several miles underground.

Kat: Oh...umm how awful...'sarcasm'...who would do such a thing...

Lance & Landon: We're back! And we have T-shirts now!


	2. Is it actually a small world?

**CHAPTER TWO OF 'THE SNAP' HAS FINALLY BEEN POSTED.**

* * *

**Start Arthur's Note:  
**  
**Disclaimer:** We don't own Kingdom Hearts. But, Jon owns Tonto, and Kaida owns Stefan. 

**Kat:** Jon!

**Jon:** Yeah?

**Kat:** I'm gonna kill you!

**Jon:** Get in line. So where are L&L?

**Kat:** I lost them going through a sushi bar.

**Jon:** Hmmm, so they should be here in 3...2...1..

**Lance and Landon burst through door:** Hey why did you walk so fast? It was hard to stalk you that way!

**Kat:** How'd you find me?

**L&L:** Jon has a satellite tracking you. He gave us a GPS.

**Kat:** Again I say...JON I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

**Jon:** Ummm...See ya!

**Kaida:** You'd better run fast.

**Jon:** Oh by the way...If you own Stefan...and Stefan possesses me at the moment...weird...

**Kai:** heh heh

**End the insane Author's note**

* * *

"You ok?" Kat went over to where Kaida had crashed. She and Jon had fought for several hours without anyone pulling ahead. Scorch marks covered the walls along with more than a few newly made holes. It had looked like Kaida might have been about to start winning when Jon pulled a dirty trick and encased her in ice. She had been in midair and crashed down, the globe of ice shattering. Several shards had sunk deeply through her skin and thin lines of blood were appearing. The scar from her earlier battle with Axel had reopened. Black was oozing out. 

"Yeah, I'm fine Kat. Thanks. You'd better take cover. I don't want us to hurt anyone else." Kaida laughed, "This usually gets a bit messy." Growling she leaped into the air. A cloud of inky blackness formed around her and slowly grew.

"You can't hit what you can't see." She smirked then gasped when icicles appeared and she began to whiz about the room.

"I don't have to see, all I have to do is get lucky."

"Ugh." Kaida choked as the multiplying daggers flew through her, leaving bloody holes.

"You... can't kill me!" Kaida gasped. "I'm immortal!"

"Who said anything about killing?" Jon arched an eyebrow and faced her in the dissipating darkness. "I just needed find you." He threw a large dagger, hitting Kaida in the stomach. Blood seeped out, revealing where she was in the room. "And, I also needed to slow you down so I could do this." Kaida moved sluggishly and was too late to stop him from clamping a heavy, tight-fitting, silver necklace around her throat.

"What did you do!" She asked. Speaking came easier now, she had already healed most of the wounds. All that was left were angry red scabs.

"Actually this was your friends idea." Stefan's voice said. "You see he really can be delightfully cunning when pressed. This collar was almost entirely his idea." Jon's eyes flashed red, but for a moment Kaida thought she saw their old gray-blue flicker back in an anguished look. Then it was gone in an instant.

"Oh scary! Tacky jewelry, how awful." Kaida said wryly and lifted her hands to wrench it off. The second her fingertips touched the icy cold metal she screamed in pain.

"Yes that's right. The Tsparah is able to hold any angel or demon easily. It is impossible to remove without this." Jon lifted a large silver ring which he slipped onto his index finger. "I call it the control ring. It is directly linked to the Tsparah, allowing me to do this." He twisted a finger and Kaida went rigid, fighting as her arms and legs spread into the air at nearly harmful angles.

"You freakin' jerk! I'll burn you to a cinder!' She yelled, flames burst out of her arms and a murderous light filled her eyes.

"Or this." He laughed as Kaida's flames were smothered and she struggled while doing the YMCA.  
"And so you see dear sister, my plan was never to kill you, do you really think I am so stupid as to waste such a valuable asset? I intend to control you."

Kaida rolled her eyes. She glanced over to where her brother had imprisoned her friend. 'Wow.' Kaida clicked her tongue. 'He can be so moronic at times." Kat started laughing. Stefan's head snapped in Kat's direction. "What!" He demanded. "Nothing. I just caught on a joke that Mar told us the other day."

Stefan chuckled. "Its a wonder you aren't blond" He muttered to himself. Kaida's mouth turned into a wicked grin. "_Oh_ _Brother_!" she sang.  
"What is it?!" Stefan snapped.  
"I can't believe you forgot." A grin appeared on Kaida's face "Forgot what?" Kaida laughed, "Yes, I really do think you're stupid. I've been alive one-hundred plus years, yet, you can't remember the simplest thing." The ring was wrenched out of his grasp and flew at Kat. A loud 'NO!' was heard in Stefan's direction. Kat's hand flew up out of her bonds and caught the ring.

Kat slipped the ring upon her finger and twisted it. Kaida grinned as the necklace rose up and off her neck. She smirked and ran over to where Kat was. Her hand erupted in white hot flames as she melted the ropes and cage that held her friend. "Remember now, oh my _dear_ brother?" She smirked, just loving the sarcasm. "Telekinesis is one of my _specialities_."

"You have got to be kidding me. Stupid Murphy's Law!" Jon growled.

Kaida laughed, loud and with a humorous tone. "That law broadly states that things will go wrong in any given situation_, if _you give them a chance." She whizzed infront of Stefan/Jon. "So, that was your own mistake..."

"How come everythings always my fault?" Jon whined. Kaida did a double-take. For a moment it had looked like the old Jon had surfaced, if only for a brief second.

"Don't even think about it." Stefan's voice hissed softly. Jon's hand wobbled clumsily and his eyes were tightly shut in concentration.

"You, know..." Jon's voice came out "You really are freakin' annoying!"

"You should talk." Stefan's deeper voice said. "I mean, how many times can you hum 'It's a Small World?'"

"Hey, everybody needs a hobby. It just so happens mine is driving people insane." His hand had pulled the notebook out of his back pocket. Kaida moved to stop him when Kat put a hand on her arm.

"Wait a sec Kai. I think he needs to do this himself." Kaida frowned but didn't interfere.

Jon's pencil was shakily moving across the blank page, making his already terrible handwriting even worse.

"Stop!" Stefan's voice showed a note of worry. "What are you doing?"

"Getting you out of my head, I have enough problems!"

"But think of what we could have done together."

"What? World domination? Who wants to do that anyway? There's way too much math." Stefan finally noticed what it was Jon had written down.

"You wouldn't dare! Not even you would do that." Jon, having gradually gained more and more control over himself cocked an eyebrow.

Kaida murmered to herself "Ah the dangers of split personalities..." 

"Enjoy."

Jon firmly marked a final period onto the sheet.

A glowing green portal (Kai: Jon..you have a MAJOR obsession with glowing green portals...) opened in front of Jon. Beside it was the Tsparah. Stefan's slight form was forcibly sucked out of Jon.

"This isn't the last of me!" (Kai: haha..It really isn't)

"Dude that's the oldest villian line in the book." Jon shook his head as Stefan, with the collar firmly around his neck, was dragged into the portal. "At least think of something a little original."

Jon collapsed as the green light faded.

Stefan looked up in horror. That awful necklace was firmly in place around his neck as he gazed at the interior of the room. It seemed that Tonto didn't take kindly to having had mind-control used on him. He also had several moves from Sephiroth that needed trying out, including one he called the Splat-bomb (Jon: Use your imagination). The glittering silver of the control-ring glinted off one of his talons. Stefan struggled to get one of the dozen pair of handcuffs off while hopping around the room, trying not to trip over the excess rope keeping his legs together. His screams mixed in with the sound of "It's a Small World" quite nicely, quite nicely indeed.

Stephan disappeard in a bright light. His annoyed screams fading.

Kaida sighed, "Well, that was boring." Kat looked over at her, "Eh..boring?"  
"Yeah. Usually the fights between my brother and me last alot longer. This was actually the shortest one by far." Kat raised an eyebrow. "Shortest...what is a normal time?"  
Kaida smiled wickedly, "Oh, one time we fought for 6 months...we wouldn't have even stoped then, but we had exhasted ourselves and gotten bored, so we just went out separate ways." Kai's eyes twinkled, "Oh, no, Kai," Kat warned, guessing what Kaida was thinking. "Don't...we don't need something like this to--"

Kaida ran out the room and came back with her notebook and another worn book. She caught the door as it was closing. "Hehe, I'm too fast."  
Kat finished her sentence, "happen again." She folded her arms, laughing, "Ok, so don't pay any attention to my advice."

Kaida opened the notebook and made a pen materialize from the air. Bringing the pen down to the paper, she wrote furiously.

Roxas, who Kaida made appear next to Kat, laughed, "Oh no...Well, here we go again. This should be interesting."

Jon's unconsious body rose in the air and floated to Kaida and Kat's feet. In a flash of red, a medicine bottle appeared in the hands of Demyx, who was just now walking into the room. 'Dem," Kat yelled, "Can you give the medicine to Jon? He's going to need the hydrocodine...and the sleeping pills." Demyx moved the pill bottle closer to his eyes, scrutinizing it. His hand went to the top and he tried to open the bottle. "Kat! Kaida!" Demyx whined, "Its not opening. Whats wrong with it?" You could see his muscles strain to open the small pill bottle. Kaida sighed trying not to laugh, "Kat, wanna help Demyx with the childproof top?" Kat chuckled and walked over to Demyx. She took the pill bottle and popped the top off, effortlessly. Demyx stared at the medicine bottle then Kat, then back at the medicine bottle, "But...eh.." He frowned, "I'm a failure." Everyone laughed.

Kat was busy force feeding Jon the pills that Kaida had written up when the Hall of Empty Melodies shook, knocking everyone off their feet, except for Kaida (who wasn't..exactly on her feet, 'cause when one is levitating...their feet don't _usually _touch the ground.)

"Oh dammit." Kaida yelled, angrily and worridly.

Kat, hearing the tone that her friend was using looked up from Jon, "Kai...what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything..I haven't even done what I was going to do earlier...and all that was going to be was to bring Stephan back to fight a bit more."

A loud rumble cause Roxas' already worried expression to worsen.

The Hall of Empty Melodies faded away. Demyx had also faded, along with everyone else who was in the Hall, except for Kaida, Kat, Axel, Zexion, Roxas, and the unconsious Jon. Even Tonto had disappeared with everyone else.

They were in a solid white room. The white quickly dissolved into black. The black disappeared, revealing a huge dungeon...

A deep and menacing voice surrounded six astounded teens.

"Ahh...Welcome."

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**  
Haha...Its my (Kaida) 's attempt at a smal cliffhanger...Jon was going to finish 'The Snap' with this chapter, but I refused...I don't think I've ever written a story that has been shorter than 5,000 words...so, I added on...taking 'The Snap' to a different level...

Hope you enjoyed Chapter Two of 'The Snap'

Chapter Three shall be posted shortly...if school doesn't take Jon and my time away from typing...wretched school...who needs it?


	3. Madame Cleo?

------  
**Chapter Three:**

_A deep and menacing voice surrounded six astounded teens._

_"Ahh...Welcome."  
_  
Kaida's hand erupted in flame, "Here we go, at least we can see."

It was what they saw that surprised them all.

"Father?" Kaida asked, voice spiteful even with a question. At the same time Kaida spoke, Jon and Kat both said, "Sephiroth?"  
_  
"_Hello, Kaida. We haven't seen each other in what? Forty-five years? Or has it been 50? Either way its been too long." He smiled, his teeth gleaming in the flickering light, making him look menacing. Not that he wasn't menacing enough already...

"It hasn't been long enough." Kaida said through gritted teeth. Jon, who only just came to his senses was still staring at Sephiroth.

"Oh ouch, I thought you might enjoy a family reunion." Her father said sarcastically.

"Ok, cut the crap." Kaida glared up at him. "Why are you here?"

"Well you see..." Sephiroth began when he was interrupted by Jon.

"Hold it!" Everyone looked questioningly att the newly recovered Jon. "I have a question."

Sephiroth groaned. "Can no one give a complete villian speech in this fanfiction?"

"There goes that fourth wall, nice one father."Kaida said, groaning.

"Ok...ignoring all of that..." Jon looked at Sephiroth from fifteen feet away. "Why the heck do you have such a ridiculously long sword?" Everyone groaned at first, then went into shock. As badly timed as the question was... it actually made sense.

"Wow, Jon actually asked a question that people want to know about." Zexion said in amazement.

"Hmmm... so that's where his mind is while we're all in danger of being killed, enslaved, or worse." Kaida said.

"Worse?" Kat asked.

"Well, we could always be forced to wear pink princess dresses..." Kaida told her.

"Point taken. Still why is he thinking about the sword?"

"Ahem." Jon started. "For several reasons... the top two being that it is shiny, and..." He gave a chuckle "...it can be used to chop people into a billion little pieces which I can then throw into a tank full of acid." Jon panted and was nearly foaming at the mouth.

"Ok...I'm going to pretend you stopped at shiny Jon." Kat said.

"Whatever, now then." He turned to face Sephiroth. "What's with the 20 foot sword?"

"Well it's useful for this.." Jon heard a whooshing sound and suddenly his head felt cold.

"My hair!!!!!! Ahhh!!! It was short enough already from stupid school rules!" He manically stepped over to Zexion and held out an open hand.

"Give it!" He said forcefully.

Zexion sighed and summoned his book which Jon then reached into. The group watched curiously (Since they all knew Jon couldn't actually use the book). Then they heard Larxene's screeches.

"Kat? Did we forget to let her out from recent events?" Kaida asked.

"Ummm...oops." Kat shrugged.

"Well I vote we let her stay in there." Axel said. About this time Jon was pulling something from the tome. A long barrel appeared... Larxene's bazooka. Shutting the book Jon turned around to face Sephiroth.

"NOBODY MESSES WITH MY HAIR!!!!!" Saying this he unloaded the gun with a blinding burst of light and waves of searing heat.

He managed to clip Sephiroth's side before the gun was knocked from his now scorched hands. (Never play with guns kids :P)( yep, cause only Jon is able to do this and, well, he never succeeds...[its safe for everyone but him...)(Hey!!!...well ok it's true... but still...)

"Ok now if you have finished, please allow us to continue, strange boy." Jon sulked but there was really nothing he could do. So, the unreal family reunion continued.

(-sigh- Jon...this is quite..er...strange...BUT, i'll let it stay in the fanfiction only because I feel generous this...evening.)

"I have some...duties that I need to take care of." Sephiroth said, grinning his menacing, yet seductive grin (Seductive? What is he going to pull a Michael Jackson and rape us?). He sheathed his long sword, turned around, and walked off. Jon, still annoyed at losing his 'emo' hair, stood up from where he was and walked over to one of the corners of the dungeon cell that they all were currently in.

He sighed, "Well, atleast Demyx isn't here to do something stupid, like fall on a lever that opens up a hole in the wall leading to a vat of toxic waste." Jon said, and leaned against the dungeon wall. The wall gave a screech and Jonathan fell backwards and out of the cell. Kat and Kaida walked over to inspect where Jon fell. Axel and Zexion would have helped inspect the wall, but they were to busy laughing at Jon to do anything.

Kat burst into laughter. "It's a lever." she said outloud. Kaida reached out and pulled the lever down. A stone in the wall was pulled in, revealing a large opening.

The girls gasped at what lay behind the wall. A huge bricked room opened out from the hole in the stone wall. In the middle of the room was a huge metal container. Kat looked down, "Kai, it's a slide." Kaida turned and looked over a Kat, "Wicked. I knew he put me in the right cell." Kat looked at Kaida with a quizzical look upon her face. "Huh?" she questioned. "You'll see," Kaida said in a sing-song voice.

Behind them, Zexion, Roxas, and Axel had finally ceased laughing. They stood up and walked towards their girlfriends. "So," Axel said, "What happened now?"

"Jon opened up a secret passage in Kai's father's dungeon, slide down the slide, and fell into that metal container full of some goopy green stuff."

Axel, Roxas, and Zexion started laughing, yet, again. (They never seem to stop now do they?)

(Lol, why is it that I seem to be a magnet for Murphy's Law?)

"What is Jon psychic now?" Kat asked.

"Don't look at me, I didn't teach him." The immortal pyro held up her hands.

"Hey does that mean we can call him Madame Cleo?" Axel asked.

"Hmm... but he hasn't been busted for fraud, inspired countless jokes about not seeing it coming, or been laughed at by millions for idiocy...and really bad teeth, his are shiny white!" Roxas said.

"I don't know, he comes close for idiocy..." Zexion set the three of them off again.

"Wow that gets old kinda fast." Kat groaned as she shook her head.

"Hey, they make up for it in hotness." Kaida consoled her. (Wow Jon...I just can't believe that you wrote this..)

"Well thanks for helping me out guys!" Jon sputtered as he slipped his way across the room. Large spheres of the gunk slid off of him as they were jolted loose by his erratic pace.

"Ummm... Kai? What does that stuff do, and do we want to let him near us right now?"

"Ummm Jon?" Zexion started to say.

"What the heck now?" Jon snapped. "What else could go wrong today? I've been possessed by a psycho demon, had my head shaved, AND recieved third degree burns on my hands!"

"Don't forget about falling into a vat of radioactive waste..." Roxas added.

"That too! Thank you!" (You do know that we can tell when your voice is dripping with sarcasm)

"Always trying to help." He said smugly."Oh and by the way whats that?" Roxas dramatically pointed to a hole in the wall behind Jon's head.

Jon looked quizically at Roxas and turned his head. "Rox, there's nothing th---" BAM!

Roxas hit Jon on the head, knocking him out. Kaida and Kat stared blankly at Roxas. "What?" He asked. "Lets check him for anything abnormal."

"But, its Jon, Roxas...he's abnormal anyways." voiced Kat

"True...true." Roxas bent down over Jon, examining him for anything out of the un-ordinary.

"Tsk-tsk-tsk." Kaida said, "I'm sort of surprised this place is still here."

"How so?" Questioned Axel. He walked over to where Roxas was bending over Jon. Zexion and Kat followed.

Kaida smiled, "I dunno, I just am...Father being Father, I'm amazed that he hasn't found this place."

"Oh my head..." Jon stirred and opened his eyes. Roxas was the first person he saw and Roxas was a...bit..close for comfort... "What the heck!" Jon jumped up, then collapsed from dizziness. "Come on Roxas, next time...dont hit me so hard." Jon turned his head and saw how everyone was looking at him. "Uh...guys? Whats wrong?"

Axel and Zexion started snickering quietly. Kat wrote something in her notebook and a large mirror appeared in her hand. She walked over to Jon with the mirror. "Well, Jon...-eh..,yeah..Kai, you tell him.

"Jon," Kaida approached him and patted his shoulder. "It seems...as if the goop you fell into" (she then muttered something inaudible..Jon cause the words 'my' and a word that rhymes with crap) "Well, the goop causes mutations...and it effected your ears and your head."

"WHAT?!?!?!" Jon snatched the mirror out of Kats hands and looked at himself. "Oh My God!" He head had grown, (think...MoJoJoJo from the powerpuff girls..But, with skin covering the brain...and a _much _smaller brain...) And, his ears had shrunk a small bit, nothing drastic like his head growth, but you could tell.

"Great...just great." Jon muttered as he turned the mirror around.

"There is an upside to this." Roxas said.

"Don't talk to me. I feel betrayed Roxas. Ir really thought we were building a really great friendship on a strong foundation of trust."

"Ok..."

"Alright, I'm over it. The bright side would be?"

"Maybe Kairi will be repulsed and hate you."

"Don't say that name!" But it was too late already. A sickening cloud of hot pink and lime green was forming. Jon gagged. "It's like a dog, if you name it...it will never leave...or DIE!!!!"

"Hahahahahaha Jon-Kun" An annoyingly high-pitched voice giggled. "You're sooooo funny. Say somethi..." The pink garbed barbie stopped as she saw his head.

"Maybe...Maybe..." Jon whispered.

"Jon-kuns..."

"Come...luck of the Irish..."

"Your head..."

"Hurry up, go screaming in horror and run away..."

"It's cutilicious!!!!!" (lol)

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Jon fell to his knees and started crying while Kairi cooed over his transformation.

"Awww aren't they a cute couple..." Kaida snickered.

"Wow, I knew she wasn't very bright but..." Zexion muttered. Suddenly Jon's eyes took on an new light.

"Kairi sweets." He said through clenched teeth.

"Yes dear one?"

"He's finally cracked." Roxas sighed.

"Well, cracked more." Axel said, which of course set the trio off again. Kat groaned and Kaida reminded her.

"Hotness Kat, remember hotness..." While this was happening Jon led Kairi over to the edge of the glowing vat.

"Ohh prett...AHHHHH!!!!" Kairi screamed as Jon gave her a sudden shove. A satisfying stream of bubbles followed the splash.

Jon wiped off his hands and grinned while the others gaped.

"Freedom!!! Finally!!" He brought out his notebook, wrote himself back to normal, and then began to dance around in ecstasy.

"Wow, Stefan must have left an imprint on him..." Kaida said.

"Ummm...Kaida?" Kat asked. "Will that stuff kill her? Cause I don't want to be the one to explain to Square Enix that one of thier main people got dumped into radioactive waste."

"Hmmm, I'm curious now." Kaida thought out loud. "It won't kill her, but it will change her. To what I wonder?"

"Anybody got a fishing pole?" Roxas asked

"You know how to fish?" Kat asked as she wrote up a shiny new pole.

"Bass champion of World That Never Was two years running." He bragged.

"Yeah because nobody else fishes." Zexion muttered.

"And he fishes in the bathtub." Axel erupted in laughter.

"It was a big swirly bathtub." Roxas pouted. "The kind that makes all the bubbles."

"So that's what a member of Orginaztion XIII, one of the most evil groups in KH, does for for fun?" Kat shook her head.

"Well, they canceled bingo night AND disco night!" Roxas complained.

Jon finally walked back up and glanced at Roxas, who was now casting into the goop.

"What are you doi...NOOOOOOOO!!!! DON'T DO IT!!!!!" Jon rushed him and was promptly knocked out by a swift push on a pressure point.

* * *

Several hours later (Roxas kept getting tangled in the pipes.) Kairi was finally fished out. About this time the sleep drugs that Kat had given Jon wore off. Jon sulked 

"Roxas I really don't know how we can continue being friends if you keep knocking me out."

"Wow...that's...strange..." Roxas wrinkled his forehead as the girl was pulled out of the ooze.

Kairi was stiff.

Kairi was shiny.

Kairi was now plastic.

"Can I melt her?" Jon asked. It was a heated debate but eventually they decided to send her back to Destiny Island where she could become a clothes mannequin.

"Wait... why don't we do that?" Axel asked?

"Good idea." Kat said and began to scribble in her notebook when Kaida's hand stopped her.

"No, we need to find out what Father has planned."

"Ummm Kai?" Jon looked nervous. "You might shouldn't have done that."

"Done wha...uh oh." A wobbling blue portal had appeared in the room. Jon explained quickly.

"Never stop someone in the middle of writing. You never know what will turn out."

The six backed against the wall while the source of the light grew larger.

"Kat where were you making the portal to?" Jon asked while hastily trying to figure out what could happen.

"I was going to take us back to The Hall of Empty Melodies..." The boy scribbled something down quickly in his own notebook. A small computer appeared, into which he typed rapidly.

"So that means that it should have opened somewhere along... uh oh."

"Uh oh?" Roxas asked nervously.

"We got an evil squirrel general incoming!" Jon ducked for cover while Kat grinned as commando boots stomped through. Followed by the swish of wings.

"Tonto! What are you doing hanging out with the enemy?!" Jon scolded as the bird landed on his shoulder and pecked for M&M's.

"Ugatham Mortilva Pasimoeria Nutsomine Hawcsensia" The squirrel general barked out to Kat. (WTH? Did you just make this stuff up? lol)

"He says that they were having their weekly poker match when my portal appeared. They figured something was wrong and came through."

"Weekly poker? Are you kidding me?" Jon asked the hawk. Of course when the bird told him how much he won it was fine...

"So now what?" Roxas questioned. "won't your father know we left the prison cell Kai?"

"Hmmm we need to fix that." She thought for a moment and turned to Jon.

"Already on it." He waved as began typing into his computer while stripping several near bye wires.

"Couldn't you just fix it with your notebook?" Zexion looked at Kat.

"No the sensors are in the cell and Father probably has guards against that, very unpleasant guards." Kai told him.

"Anybody hungry?" Kat asked. Soon she and Roxas had fixed up something and were having a lakeside pic...ermmm... vatside picnic.

* * *

"Got it!" Jon yelled. Gathering around the group saw a tangle of wires all connecting back to his laptop. 

"What did you do?" Roxas asked.

"Hacked into Sephy's mainframe. Surprisingly easy. A brute force password cracker got it fairly quick. Wanna guess what it was?"

"World Domination?"

"I hate Cloud?"

"Twenty foot swords rock?"

"Nope, it was 'MENSA'...is he a member?" Jon turned to Kaida.

She sighed an said " No, Mensa was a joke name he used to call himself. Master of Evil Nightmares: Sephiroth Almighty."

"Oooook, strange family... Anyway." Kaida glared at Jon and he continued "I changed the video feed to show us in the cell and scrapped the whole lever episode. I also inserted several holograms in with artificial intelligence. They might not be quites as entertaining as we are, but they'll get the job done."

"How'd you do that so quickly?" Roxas asked. Jon pointed to the laptop.

"Already had the holograms made...and this is a quantum computer."

"Jon... you know those don't exist yet." Kat said.

"Ahh the joy of having super author powers..." Jon grinned as he opened minesweeper.

"Jon...I really wouldn't play minesweeper on this computer." Kaida warned, backing up. A silvery shield covered the group, including Jon. She sent a mental note into everyones heads telling them to follow suit.

"Why?" He asked, "Its not like anything bad'll happen." His cursor moved to click on one of the last grey squares in the game.

"Jon...You'd better not lose." Kaida muttered. "The whole computer blows if you do...thats just how it is set up."

"What? You can't be seriou----CLICK..."

"Oh shoot."

KABANG! The whole computer exploded--shrapnel going everywhere... Kaida and everyone in her shield were thrown back. She levitated, so they wouldn't fall into the vat of toxic waste. Everyone looked down into the metal bin where the pieces of computer were slowly mutating, then dissolving.

"NEAT! Is that what'll happen to Kairi?!" Jon wondered aloud.

Everyone glared at him, "Just...be quiet, won't you?"

Kaida lowered everyone down and removed the shield. Zexion walked over to Jon and set a hand on his shoulder. "Jonathan...Please, please pay attention to Kaida next time."

Kat nodded at Zexion, "Yes, please Jon. Kai? Don't you agree?"

She looked around. "Kai?"

Kaida was nowhere in sight.

* * *

Brooohahaha! Chapter three is up! Enjoy 

R&R.

Kaida and Jon will smite you otherwise...Well, Kaida will...Jon might just cry over his computer.

Jon: Why!!!! Why couldn't it have been me!!!!! So beautiful. Endless calculations in fractions of the time on normal macroscopic hardware!!!!

Kaida: Stupid nerd...

Jon: I prefer Geek or Techie

Kat: Wow, when you argue over the nuances, that's when you have a problem...

Jon: How many times have we covered this? YES!!! I HAVE ISSUES!!!!!!"

-random mothers pass by and shield thier young infants as they begin to run-

Jon: Wait...I'm...fine!!! See?

-walks up to random mother holding hands up

Jon: AHHHHH!!!! Soccer mom with pepper spray!!!!! My Eyes!!!!!!


End file.
